I loved a girl

I remember her favourite track by Johnny Cash as if I just met her again yesterday:

‘I Walk The Line’~Johnny Cash lyrics

“I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you’re mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I’ll admit that I’m a fool for you
Because you’re mine, I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I’ve known proves that it’s right
Because you’re mine, I walk the line

You’ve got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can’t hide
For you I know I’d even try to turn the tide
Because you’re mine, I walk the line

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you’re mine, I walk the line”

There are certain songs that just throw you back into a cherished
memory.

When I was 24 I dated this girl who was crazy about Country Music.

For some reason,I just can’t tell why her memories have come back today,flooding my mind with lyrics from Johnny Cash’s track-‘I walk the line’

She loved Don Williams and to be
specific, Johnny Cash.

I remember buying her the album of Johnny Cash-they came in the form of tapes back those days when Adam was still a boy.

For weeks on end, she listened to little else but that tape.

Here is the thing; she is the only girl I ever dated who listened to music with her eyes closed.

You haven’t dated, until you have dated a chick who listens to music with her eyes closed gentlemen.

She would sit on the settee with her legs folded away under her, and she would listen to all the tracks to the limit over and over again, all
the while her head flung back on the chair, and eyes closed.

And when this happened, she would block everything out for that moment, and recede into a world that only belonged to her, a world that only she, could fully contemplate.

And when she adopted this poise, she cast an avatar of mystery, a representation of something deeply mystical and erotic.

Look, I was young those days and highly impressionable after all.

Suffice to say such moments were confusing to me,confusing in that I found her emotionally
unreachable at those moments.

I was embarrassed to admit that I felt lonely, lonely because she had excluded me from this intimate journey to the dreamland of music.

But also those moments were animatedly intimate, because for all the time Johnny Cash crooned in her ears, I lost her.

Completely.

She was gone…gone, baby, gone.

For the moments Johnny Cash hit the notes with that trademark falsetto, I knew she was not mine, that
she would never be mine as long as this guy was singing into her ears.

Oh how I wished I could sing.

By the way, this is the kind of post that puts me in a very nostalgic mood.

Writing about any other woman in this fashion is just the kind of thing that will earn me “the sulk” from my partner for days because it would imply that I miss that woman.

It implies that I still burn a candle for her.

Well, nothing could be further from the truth.

I hate candles, candles are dangerous, and they can start a fire.

A fire in my heart for a paradise I lost to music.

I’m writing this now because it’s contextualized to my love of Country Music.

The story of this Ex simply offers an
irresistible entry point.

Nothing less.

There isn’t some raging romance brewing on the sly side with her.

No candles lit on my side of this lost paradise.

Last I heard from her was fifteen years ago when she had rang me from a telephone booth at the airport to say goodbye with a voice that shimmered and trembled with rife emotion.

Then poof, she was gone!

She had won green card lottery to U.S.A.

But,her love of country music planted a seed in my soul that keeps on growing.

If my love for Country Music means that I still love her,so be it.

What is it in a man’s heart that makes him remember a girl that I last talked to fifteen years ago just like it was yesterday?

Just some random thoughts that came to my mind….