When you care about someone who is
unreliable, unhealthy and reckless with
your emotions, you will never have peace
and you will be in a constant battle with
yourself trying to maintain some semblance of equilibrium. When you have decided th you are done and you’re making the transition out of your relationship, utilise the power of indifference, even if you’re not
there yet. Shift your mindset and say the
words, I Don’t Care, not only will you find
yourself truly in a state of not caring a lot
faster than you ordinarily would, but you’ll free up your mind to focus on your own life and truly not care about what your ex is to you anymore.
To most, indifference is a destination that
we are struggling to get to. We hope that in time we won’t care, but right now we are still battling with our feelings and struggle with our will power. But what if we took a page from Tolle’s philosophy and we didn’t just wish for indifference somewhere in the future, what if we could recognise that this present moment is all that we have and if we could practice what we want to feel in
the now, rather than some time later,
wouldn’t we feel more empowered and in
I noticed an article written by Eckhart Tolle, the best-selling author of The Power of Now. One the main themes of Tolle’s work is that when you are in the present moment, ‘in the now,’ you cannot be harmed by the past and you aren’t anxious about the future.
You are fully absorbed with what is
happening around you at that very
In essence, this translates to the attitude of; “Why would you let what other people do bother you? Who cares?”
Over the next couple of days I
contemplated the power behind the
concept of those words, I Don’t Care: If you don’t care about something, it has no power over you. It can’t touch you and it can’t move you.
As Tolle suggests, to be present, means
shifting your perception. You may, at time
find your mind wondering back to your
painful past, or on things that you are still
hoping will happen in the future, when this happens, you bring yourself back to where you are and what you are doing. So, when we are practising indifference, we shift our perception and when painful
things start to creep up on us, we reel it
back into indifference.
The power of Indifference is like a shield
and when you’re in the middle of a battle
with yourself, or someone else, create the image of you holding up a shield in your mind, deflecting hurtful words, or cruel actions, while saying in your mind, ‘I Don’t Care, I Don’t Care.’ This allows these thing to just bounce off of you. The words, I Do Care are powerful. They mean that there I nothing that you can do to hurt me. I have taken back my power and I am fully in control.
The late Wayne Dyer often said, “What other people think of you is none of your
business,” and he is absolutely right. Not
everyone is going to like us – not everyone has to. Other people have baggage that has nothing to do with you and they often act out in ways that can be pretty mean and hurtful. As long as your actions always come from a place of integrity, then what other people say and how they act toward you should have no bearing on your well-being.
For recovering Co dependents, that are us to trying to please everybody and make everything their fault, that can be a tall order. The alternative is to let your
emotions get the better of you and stay in place of weakness, ripe for further abuse. Remember no one can hurt you without your permission. Indifference is a boundary that we set to protect ourselves, when we need the most protection. It is another tool in our arsenal to mental health.
When you don’t care nothing can penetrate you. When you don’t care you go on about your day, not being affected by other people’s stuff. Being indifferent means being in control. It’s a higher state of enlightenment, where we let go of our
attachments to people and things.
“Attachment is the root of all suffering,”
Buddha was quoted as saying. When you let go of your attachments and you practice mindful indifference, it brings you to a state of inner peace. which is what we should al be striving for.
Dysfunctional people will always try to get rise out of you, just to prove they can, or because of jealousy or some other baggage they may carry. By reacting to it, you feed their need to be in control. So the next time someone wants to say or do something that hurts you, detach yourself from the event;say to yourself, “I don’t care,” and let it bounce off of you.
As soon as someone knows they have no effect on you they’ll search for an easier target and leave you alone to live your life in peace.