We almost made it,
I almost called you mine,
And you almost called me yours.
We almost had it all,you and I.
I think we almost loved each other.
But the only thing I’m sure about,
Is that I wasn’t good enough for you,
So,you walked away from my love.
I still haven’t figured how to forget you;
Too many foolish things still remind me of you.
It’s just amazing what you’ll find,
When you aren’t keen searching;
Those things that once mattered,
But you thought that you had lost them forever,
Like that pair of socks that we searched for the whole morning together,
You and I,
The pair of socks that we thought was lost forever,
Has been sitting pretty in one of my drawers,
And it is sad that it has come back,
To remind me of you.
Hearing that song we used to listen to on the radio,
come on unexpectedly in my playlist,
and feeling like I should text you to tell you that it came on,
even though that’s an objectively silly
thing to text someone over.
What about the sound of people laughing together at a joke you’ll never quite hear, when their sense of closeness radiates outward and you feel like you can catch it for just a minute,
Because that simple magic of people laughing,
Reminds me of you..
Or driving alone on the subway at night and seeing the lights of the gas stations and tunnels pass by one after the other, and being rocked to sleep like a car-ride, when you were a little kid.
Or a really good appetiser dish that’s just too big for one person,
the kind that they normally bring out with two spoons,
so that lovers sitting in dark corner table,
Can spoon it to each other’s lips,
As a seal of their delicious love.
Or waking up to my empty bed at night, and seeing the blankets and pillows
all piled around like there was someone there,
and forgetting just for a second,
that you aren’t there curled up,
and just waiting for me to kiss your sleeping lips.
Or seeing something in a shop window that would fit you just right,
that would be just your style,
but that you would never agree to splurge on for yourself,
Though I was always willing to buy it for you,
As my loving gift offered in love.
Or when something really, really funny happens,
and I immediately turn around to look at you with that “Oh my god, what??” face, even when I know you’re not there.
Or walking through a museum and seeing a painting that I’ve seen in one of magazines that you left behind a
thousand times before,
but which becomes so breathtaking the first time you actually see it in person,
But you are not there to see how pleased I am,
By your taste of arts.
Or seeing a couple leaning into their table at the restaurant to say something quietly,
meeting their hands in the middle right next to their wine glasses,
to run their fingers together in a public display of love.
Or wondering what that couple is saying, how long they have been together,
and if they know how lucky they are to have what they have.
Or locking my eyes with a child for a minute or so,
while their mother is ordering at a counter or paying for her groceries,
and wishing you could say hello to them in a way that they would understand,
That we once planned on having our little cute children.
Or walking through a playground at night, and swinging on the swing set alone, which is somehow just as thrilling,
As when I used to push you in those swings,
With your whole body trembling in the thrill of our love.
Or an old man helping his wife cross the street,
letting her lean on him even though you can tell that walking upright is not easy for him, either
And knowing that we used to hold our hands as we crossed the streets,
For there was safety in that simple loving gesture,
That would have held our love secure forever.
Or when someone says your name across the room, and my mind refuses to understand, for just a minute, that anyone else could have the same name as you.
Or that first sip of tea when it’s still a little too hot,
but it feels good against my lips and hands when it’s so cold outside,
And that reminds me how your love used to keep me warm,
When the whole world around me was freezing cold.
Or the sun shards coming in through the window late on a Sunday morning,
with the little dust fairies floating around in the light, and the sound of
people walking around just outside,
Just the way it used to be,
When we would laze in bed the whole of sunday morning,
Cushioned by the warmth of our sweet love,
And the knowledge that we will not have those cherished moment forever,
When our planned children finally arrived.
To many foolish things still remind me of you…and I have now come to realise,
That although love is always lost, it can never be forgotten….
Just some random thoughts that came to my mind….©Profarms’ Random Thoughts®