Doesn’t it feel great when people like you?
Each one of us feels that we would be truly happy if everybody loved us.
But do we love ourselves first and foremost?
Everyone wants to be happy, but not many people contemplate whether or not they really are.
Some of us feel too privileged in many other areas of life to not be happy, while others don’t want to face the possibility that we might not be.
In the much acknowledged absence of any straight forward formula of determining what is true happiness, I have pinned down nine truths about happiness to help you think a little more deeply about what it really means to be happy.
• It isn’t a feeling; it’s a relationship to
To be human means that we experience a range of emotions.
If you were to look at a graphical grid illustrating the levels of happiness across life and see a line in the shape of a wave, it would be an accurate representation of the human experience.
We shouldn’t be operating as an even,
That’s what I’d call a robot or someone who is numbed out from full experience of life.
Human beings experience emotions in
response to life’s circumstances.
That means sometimes you’re going to feel happy, sad, and all the other emotions in between.
Embrace this holistic experience as the baseline of true happiness.
True happiness is not a continuous state of life; it’s the way we relate to our lives such that, If we’re rooted in unconditional love for ourselves, the world around us transforms into a happy one.
We have the ability to express gratitude for all experiences in life as a total sum that forms the foundation of our true happiness.
This way,we are able to sit with difficult emotions without denying ourselves self-love.
We’re able to relate with ourselves and with the world in a way that shapes our overall perception of our lives to one of love and gratitude.
This is the path to happiness.
• It requires a willingness to know the
I once felt guilty for not being happy in spite of all good things that happen in my life.
I felt like I had no right not to be happy amidst a life of abundance.
Relatively, I had so much more than so many other people on this planet.
Yet,happiness eluded me most of the time.
And then I woke up the truth that I was, in fact, not happy, and to deny that didn’t change the truth.
I realised that my relationship to myself was the source of my unhappiness.
I lived under the illusion that I loved myself by avoiding contemplating whether or not I truthfully did.
I was able to see that I couldn’t actually be happy until I learned to love myself as I am.
We have to wake up to our own underlying simple truths that keep us one step away from true happiness.
Any lies that you keep telling to yourself
holds you back from true happiness.
• You have to be willing to feel pain.
True happiness isn’t the expression of
happy chemicals floating through our
brains all the time to create a private utopia in our thoughts and surreal perception of life.
True happiness comes from the
willingness to face ourselves for who we trully are.
Only through some of my most painful experiences have I come to live in true happiness.
When I was willing to sit in the despair of
my lost love, when I was willing to face the truth that I had become numb from feeling of self-love, and when I did the difficult work of healing ,I came out the other side that is happiness.
In other words,I had to wallow through the mud of life to cross to the happy side of life without feeling that all was lost in this journey.
Sometimes I felt lighter, but always with a deeper understanding of who I am.
• It has nothing to do with whether or
not people like you.
It’s like the high school experience I always dreamed of,being everybody’s favourite boy,and then I would be happy always.
Of course,that didn’t happen….that’s not what is meant to happen either,in real life.
As I got older and more comfortable with myself, I seemed to attract amazing people into my life more effortlessly.
I loved them and they loved me without the undue pressure of having to impress them.
And then someone nasty slipped through the cracks, and I experienced someone not liking me again. It stings, right?
No one likes not being liked. But it also
wasn’t my problem. It was more of their problem than mine.
As long as you’re good with who you are
deep down and as long as you’re facing
yourself each day, it’s not your problem if
someone else doesn’t like you.
It’s their problem, because more often than not people are reflecting their relationship to themselves.
When someone doesn’t like you, it doesn’t threaten your happiness.
Your happiness is yours.
It is rooted deep within your self-love.
It’s your relationship to yourself and
your own life that matters most.
What another person thinks about you can sting, but it doesn’t have to
change how you feel about yourself.
• It’s not what most people are pretending to be.
Comparing yourself to anyone else is not
only futile but also irrelevant.
Your concern should be to uncover your own truth and live according to that.
When you try to be like someone else, you are trying to live according to what you think it means to be happy like them.
And the unfortunate truth is that most people are pretending to be happy.
They may gloat about their successes or
But true happiness is a vibration that is undeniable and needs no proving.
• You can’t look for it anywhere outside
You will never find true happiness if you
take out a flashlight and start searching outside yourself for it.
There is not one single thing outside of
ourselves this will cultivate true happiness.
Not another human being whether it be a partner, parent, or your own child.
The only place true happiness can emerge from is through the self.
We can experience moments of joy and bliss in relationship to other human beings, but true happiness is a result of your connection to your own truth.
Once you’ve awakened to that, all of your
relationships will be more vibrant.
• It’s what babies see when they look in
Years ago, I remember a three year old looking at herself in the mirror.
When I asked her if she thought she was beautiful, her eyes lit up as she looked at herself, and without a doubt, without hesitation, she said yes with a hefty outburst of genuine laughter and happiness.
Children are not yet tainted by the
judgments of our world.
They see that beauty is not physical, that it’s an essence.
They look at themselves without judgment of either themselves,or others.
It’s the same relationship to self we now
have to cultivate.
We have to learn to let go of the judgments of others in order to see
the truth of who we are: that we are, in fact, that same beautiful baby.
•You can’t buy it, drink it, or recycle it.
True happiness is not a book you can read, lipstick or hat you can wear, or an act you can do.
It’s almost ineffable.
It’s most definitely not any of the things our culture has attempted to brainwash us into believing it is.
It’s something you have to discover for
It’s something you have to be willing to work hard to uncover.
A good place to start would be to let go of all of the ideas that things and ideas are what will bring you to true happiness.
• True happiness reveals itself through
In our moments of great deliberation, we
have two choices: love or fear.
Love is not often the easy choice.
Love can challenge us.
It can make us feel uneasy and vulnerable.
Love can actually elicit deep pain.
Fear is the easy escape route.
It’s the choice to express anger instead of vulnerability.
It’s the choice to hide instead of face the pain.
It’s the decision to push someone away
instead of embracing them.
True happiness will always be pushed at arm’s lenght when you choose fear.
Choosing love for oneself and others, especially when it’s difficult, is the path to accessing true happiness.
True happiness is an unwavering
connection to your own truth.
It’s is a connection to the soul, to the deepest part of ourselves that screams out for us to listen.
You always have the choice to align yourself with it because your soul is always communicating with you through your conscience.
It’s even happening now as you read this.
Are you listening?
Just some random thoughts that came to my mind….©Profarms’ Random Thoughts®