I just love the following lines from a song
‘Bless the Broken Road’;
“I set out on a narrow highway many years ago/
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road that was my life/
But I got lost a time or two/
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through/
I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you/
Every long lost dream led me to where you are/
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars/
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms/
This much I know is true/
That God blessed the broken road/
That led me straight to you” .
Those from seemingly happy families
cannot imagine losing ties…of course
not, you have the love and support you
It is completely different for those who have suffered pain, hurt, neglect from their nearest and dearest.
Family harmony is a dream we all
Wouldn’t it be great if we could function, day to day, like our favorite television families?
Sure, life would come along with a one-two punch,but because we are so connected, in sync, funny, and resilient, by the end of the day we would land on our feet, together.
Whether you relate more to the family of
The Cosby Show, Malcolm in the Middle,
or Family Guy, those families always come out wiser and still united in the end.
Real families aren’t so predictable,though.
Marriage, child rearing, going to work,
moving across the country, cleaning the
house, going to school, loaning or
borrowing money, having medical
problems, dealing with one another’s
moods; this is family life.
It’s a messy marathon, and some of us find the experience more painful than others.
Into some families comes divorce, or
alcoholism, or mental illness, perhaps
poverty or abuse.
These families struggle to be connected and have positive relationships.
And with enough pain, some of us walk away from our families and never look back.
There are times when it is wise to create
some emotional distance from our
We don’t need to be intensely involved with every member of our family
all the time.
Our family systems have their own sense of rhythm.
Varying closeness and distance is a natural process that brings balance in the dance of maintaining manageable emotional energy.
We all do it, and it is a function of
every close relationship we have.
Some of us have the experience of
deliberately cutting off connection,
particularly with one or both of our
parents, for an extended period of time.
We have another argument, the phone
gets slammed down, and something inside us closes our hearts to them forever.
We have run out of energy to explain, defend, and extend ourselves and
we just need a rest from that intensity.
Such periods of distance and recovery are common in families.
You may be in one of those periods right now.
It may feel like a burden has lifted, and you vow you’ll never go through that, whatever that was,again.
When we cut out a key family relationship from our life, it takes quite a bit of energy to keep that emotional door closed.
And, any positive emotional energy that that relationship could provide us with is gone.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you trust a person, or even like that person, or want to have anything to do with them.
Forgiveness,in such cases, is about
letting the offender(s) and yourself know
that the situation doesn’t bother you
anymore and now you are able to move
on by yourself without them,henceforth.
I cut off my family completely,and these days,I feel much better and grateful to myself for that brave decision I made many years ago.
They don’t take too well the fact that I no longer want them in my life, but all they do is create drama and they just don’t understand that I don’t want that type of mess in my life.
Overall, the people who I thought I needed the most in my life, turned out to be those that I want absolutely NOTHING to do with.
I’ve read many stories online where a lot
of people (who were supposedly brought
up in good families) try to talk down to
and condemn those who’ve decided to
cut ties with their family members, but
what they don’t understand is that
sometimes your own family can be your
There is no use in keeping people like that in your life. And if it is of any use,I’m sorry, I just don’t see it.
I know that sometimes no matter how difficult it may be you need to shut people out in your life.
Yes, you may not want to,
(change is scary) but sometimes you
need to get rid of the people in your
life that give you too much stress and
not enough happiness.
Who cares if it’s your “family” if they treat you wrong.
People who treat you decent are
family,even if they are not blood relatives.
Just because someone grew up with you, raised, and knows you well you does NOT mean you should keep him/her in your life.
Just like the verses of the song at the beginning of this post,some broken roads lead you to better things in life that you would never have had,if you got stuck trying to fix relationships that had deteriorated beyond any rational repair.
Just some random thoughts that came to my mind….©Profarms’ Random Thoughts®