Tags

, , , , ,

When faced with trauma or total failure, some people manage to emerge stronger than ever.

How do they manage it?

While some people understandably
crumble after extraordinarily harrowing
events, others, have an extraordinary capacity to rebound and survive.

Their successes challenge many of our
common notions about the resilience of the human mind.

Tales of extreme resilience are very rare in the media; after every tragedy, we are more often reminded of the permanent scars an event can leave on the mind.

Such extreme differences in the way people cope are striking, and puzzling.

What makes some people more resilient, so they require less help and can pull through quicker than others?

And why do a minority even manage what psychologists call “post-traumatic growth”, living deeper, more meaningful lives than before?

These survivors do not appear
to possess any remarkable innate attributes.

Instead, what set them apart is the way
they frame the story of their illness,failure,trauma,bankruptcy,divorce and how they integrate it into their personal narratives.

This suggests that resilience and recovery do not require extraordinary resources or an innate toughness, but rather a willingness to adapt to circumstances.

Re-framing your life after a deep upset –
getting your story right – can require
considerable energy and imagination.

In theory, these resources are open to
anyone. But that doesn’t mean they are
easy to apply.

All traumatised people have
lost something.

Usually the thing they have lost is the safe, predictable world that they
knew; it can touch a person at the deepest existential level.

Trauma creates a rupture in a person’s life story,

More often than not,it diminishes the belief you have in yourself to tackle everyday problems.

In the other lot that is resilient,It teaches them about the shortness of life, the preciousness of life, the closeness of mortality, the possibility that their loved ones may be gone tomorrow through death ,estangement,divorce,separation etc.

Their strength seemed to come from
an ability to reappraise and reform their
lives, to think about their lives anew, form closer links to their immediate support group, and to change
behaviours and habits.

Living through a catastrophic
event may mean you face death.

You have the sense you can die any time.

This changes your life.

The idea that becoming acutely aware of
your own mortality can trigger dramatic
changes in attitudes has a long history in
psychology.

Survivors of traumatic events are brought nose-to-nose with this reality, and they must find ways to temper it, to assure themselves that their lives count for something and that they will not merely end up as “food for worms”.

The task,is to create narratives that are “of lasting worth and meaning”, that “outlive or outshine death and decay”.

It seems the ones who respond best are
able to re-imagine their lives in the most
positive ways.

Still, bouncing back from trauma does not
always require us to build an ambitious
existential vision for our place in the world.
It is stressed that the key was to find
meaning in life, rather than the meaning of life.

Live as if you were living already for
the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now,but with new resource of resilience to counter future failures!

Successful adapters tell lucid, forward-looking stories about themselves that join their past to their future.

Retelling your life-story is not the only way to recover from trauma, however – there are many other behaviours that can help you rebuild your mental fortress. Who you mix with may also be crucial.

Knowing that you have buddies who are rooting for you instead of a your divorced family,for example, is gladdening and reassuring.

Identifying with others and confiding in them is also critical to recovery from trauma.

Because you know you are not alone, that there are people behind you.

Social resilience, as well as being culturally dependent, cannot account for all the nuances of a community’s response to your tragedy.

It is puzzling, for example, that women, despite being better than men at
building ties and sharing emotions, almost always report higher rates of PTSD after a traumatic event.

The critical recovery process is
exposure to your main fears and self belief in confronting these fears.

You confront fear and you learn to deal with it.

You learn to exercise control over it, instead of letting it control you.

The potential to recover is in our genes.
The question is how to mobilise it.

For most people, trauma represents an
existential crisis.

It wakes us up to the deep questions of
life.

Once awake to those questions,
anything positive is possible.

But when you have inadvertently become so strongly invested and embedded in a diminished belief about who you are, it can feel like an internal battle when you consider the possibility that there might actually be another, more aligned and easy way.

As painful as your old story is, it is all you
know, so it is important to recognise that
in spite of it not serving who you ARE, it
has become a comfort zone which feels
safe and which very effectively protects
you from the unknown.

Over time, as you become more and more associated into your comfort zone, you inadvertently adopt its corresponding (and often limited) range of experiences
as the underlying fabric and truth of the
entire spectrum of your awareness and
understanding of yourself.

When this happens, it isn’t difficult to see why the mere suggestion of there possibly being another way of being, doing, and living might send you reeling from sheer uncertainty and fright!

Built into the consideration of letting
go of all that you know, no matter how
dysfunctional or toxic it might be, is a
fundamental understanding that you
might feel naked, overwhelmed, and
exposed by what is nothing short of an
emotional homecoming to your REAL
Self.

It is not uncommon at this place for you
to experience grief over the sense of time that has been ‘lost,’ or as you begin to see that there might have been another way of doing, being, and responding to the people and situations around you all along.

Showering yourself with self-love and
forgiveness here is the key, realising that
your journey as a Spirit in this physical
lifetime has its own inherent wisdom,
timing, and pace.

You simply couldn’t have come into this awareness and understanding before everything in both the seen and unseen realms collided to bring you to this precise place of retelling the story of your life.

Also built into the consideration of letting
go of all that you know is the realisation of your essential nature in this lifetime as
alone.

No matter how many people or how much activity you surround yourself with, you are the person that is most aware of and connected to the REAL You –your passions and strengths as well as
your fears and soul-level needs.

Being able to truly know and embrace
your real Self requires a soul-level
acceptance of absolutely ALL of who
you are.

And even if you don’t know exactly what that means, as a first step it requires a definite willingness and commitment to see, have, and behold the possibility that you are actually more intuitive, capable, and wise than you know.

The idea of deliberately choosing to put
yourself in a position of having to
actually feel your essential nature as alone is one that requires deep personal courage and bravery to face.

If you are at this place of contemplating just that, it is imperative you recognise that you are receiving a deep inner call – no matter the story and confines of your past – to step into your power in this present moment of NOW.

There is no getting around the fact that
stepping into what can feel like the
‘abyss of the unknown’ is one and the
same as honouring and allowing yourself to arrive more fully to who you really ARE.

And what I know beyond a shadow of a
doubt through my own personal experience and that of many of my friends in similar situations I am privileged to work with, is that as
much as this call towards greater
happiness, alignment, and peace is an
inner one, it is an outer call too.

This means that you have not only the inner resources necessary to create the
complete shift you want and need, but
because the universe wants this for you, it will bring to you precisely the outer
support and resources to help you do just
that as well.

What Are The Secret Ingredients That Will Enable You To Harness Your Desired Life- change?

•Intuition and self-trust.

These are the qualities that energetically and emotionally enable you to expand and move into a whole new realm of possibilities for yourself.

Together, following your intuition,
honouring your TRUTH, and trusting
yourself to take decisive action create
both the vehicle and the path that will
move you away from where you
currently are to where you would like
to be.

•The power lies within you.

If you are at this place, realize you are
being called to feel into and ultimately
step into your real Self NOW.

This is a pivotal place in your journey.

Seeing there is a certain dynamic at play
that keeps you stuck presents you with an opportunity to consciously choose a new way of being and a new story for your life from now onwards.

Even if you don’t know HOW you can possibly be a new person to yourself and to others, do, or act any differently from who you presently are, at this stage it is your TRUST in that deep inner call for healing, growth, and change that will unlock these very same things for
you.

It is important to be aware that this is also the place at which you can
inadvertently end up turning your back on your inner voice and relegate yourself to a pre-determined future of ‘sameness’ –more ‘stuck to your past’, frustration, and pain.

Willingness to open yourself to an
expanded range of inner and outer
possibilities combined with a resilience,
determination, and courage that
surpasses your humanity and comes
directly from your soul enables you to
accept your fundamental nature as alone.

You must be willing to let go of the
shadow life or ‘crutch’ that has been
limiting your experiences and thereby the extent to which you have been able to truly see, know, and enjoy your real
Self and fashion the life you truly deserve.

There is no one else but yourself to rely on in this moment but as you get ready to step into the unknown, you will also likely begin to sense with every fibre of your being that when you make this
commitment once and for all, your Spirit
will finally be FREE.

Go ahead and retell the story of your life in a new positive way!

Just some random thoughts that came to my mind….©Profarms’ Random Thoughts®

Just some random thoughts that came to my mind….©Profarms’ Random Thoughts®

Just some random thoughts that came to my mind….©Profarms’ Random Thoughts®

Just some random thoughts that came to my mind….©Profarms’ Random Thoughts®

Advertisements