, , ,

This isnt a race—it is my life.

This revelation didn’t come easy in my life.

After six months of being single after my divorce, I wanted to date again.

I was still afraid of failure and rejection, but I wanted to try.

I felt the best way to get over it was to
dedicate my time to finding someone new.

I didn’t know where to begin, but I knew I had a clearer understanding of what I wanted in a relationship.

I definitely knew what I didn’t want in a relationship.

I thought if I could just find someone with the right qualities, happiness would follow.

I made a long list of qualities I desired in a lady.
I tried out as many girls as I could.

I thought I could get what I wanted by playing
the odds, like sending out 100 resumes for a job hoping one company would call back.

I felt I had learned from my past mistakes and was impatient to find true love.

Six months later, after a string of bad dates, I was no closer to finding the love I desired
and the whiff of desperation seeped from my pores.

I started to feel like maybe there really wasn’t anyone out there for me.

So, I decided to stop chasing.

I began to take care of myself.

I decided to be the person I was looking for while at the same time, creating a way for
the right girl to find me.

I decided to remove all the clutter from my home and my mind.

I threw out boxes and bags of clothes and objects that represented the old me.

I wrote daily gratitude lists and stopped thinking about what I didn’t have.

I started going out to for weekend treats alone.

I found new restaurants to try.

I took long drives in the wild.

Once I took my focus off finding the right person, I started to find myself.

I could sit for hours on my back porch
reading a novel.

I would buy myself chocolate Ice-cream and flowers for Valentine’s Day.

Once I was providing for all of my own needs, I started to smile again.

This wasn’t a race—it was my life.

I intended to enjoy every moment of it with or without someone by my side.

Around this time, I started to think about finding some new friends.

I lost half of my friends during my divorce.

I was looking for positive people to hang out with that would be interested in the same things I liked to do.

I started joining book exchange clubs and meetup groups.

I went to exercise classes and asked co-workers out for drinks.

I started accepting invitations to parties,not with the aim of finding new love,but simply to enjoy my life.

Meanwhile, I still meditated.

I still read on the porch and I stopped looking for new love.

I just wanted to have a good time and find some friendly people my age.

I wasn’t having a lot of luck in the friend department, though.

It seemed like I was in a strange age group.

When I joined my friends circle, most of the members were either a decade older or younger than me.

I wondered why no one my age seemed to go out.

I reasoned they must be busy with parenting and working a lot like most people in their forties and fifties.

I just wasn’t finding people my age.

Then one day, sitting around the house doing absolutely nothing, I had a light bulb moment—I would start a group for people my age to meet and find friends!

At the second meeting of my group, my future partner walked in the door.

I knew she would be my soul mate the second I
saw her.

And yes, she has most of the qualities on that
original list.

If you’re looking for love and feeling like time is running out, slow down.

Breathe, go buy yourself some good presents,
and stop trying so hard.

Love comes to those at peace with who they are.

Here are some tips for cultivating love while you wait for it to find you:

1. If you build it, they will come.

If you can’t find what you’re looking for, create a way for it to find you.

2. Be the person you’re looking for.

The best way to find love is to love yourself.

Spend time exercising, meditating, and cultivating your self-esteem.

When the right person does show up, a calm confidence will be far more attractive than fear and anxiety.

3. Stop and smell the roses.

It’s not a marathon.

You’re looking for the best person to show up, not the first person to show up.

When’s the last time you found someone who seemed panicked attractive?

4. It’s okay to dine alone.

Many people are afraid to do “couple” things alone.

Try going to treat by yourself.

You can really have a good time just enjoying your own company.

Take action toward your dreams, but then step back and let those conditions manifest.

Enjoy life and give yourself what you need instead of waiting for someone to give it to you.

Meet each day with gratitude and joy in what you do have and what you wish for will find its way to you.

When you stop chasing butterflies and sit still,they will land on your shoulders.

Just some random thoughts that came to my mind….©Profarms’ Random Thoughts®