Seven years ago, a former female student in one of my college teaching years sent me an SOS.
She was in dire need of any sort of job to help her keep above the water.
Apparently I had the capacity to intervene, so I did so, and the young woman got a job and I forgot all about it.
It was around the same time,that I left the teaching career and forgot
about the whole episode.
Last week, she managed to trace me, but careless me, I could not
even recognise her name — you know how teaching so many students can be,and the young students are still growing,so their faces are bound to change after some time.
Moreover, being a former female student,her name did not immediately ring a bell.
Keeping close to female students is a sure way of killing a male tutor’s teaching career!
Anyway, I connected the face to the name and my ageing memory finally placed her.
After I had got over my surprise, she updated me about her current position – a mid-level IT specialist
in some government office.
She declared her modest salary and asked what she could do for me!
I realised she was serious and was absolutely stunned by her forthright gesture.
She insisted she owed her current station in life to me.
I could not remember when a young man or woman last expressed gratitude at being given a helping
Rather than telling her what I wanted her to do for me, I wished I had more opportunities to offer her instead.
Anyway, I did give her some advice about saving and investment.
Later in the day, I shared the story about what had happened with friends on my social circle.
I was in for round two of being surprised.
Apparently, there is a multitude of people out there living in silent disappointment with ungrateful young relatives and beneficiaries of actively solicited help.
From the comments that poured out,
most people have come to accept that ingratitude is part of our new culture.
Some said that relatives and friends tend to treat whatever help, donation or sponsorship they get from you as a right, and even feel cheated over what you fail to give them.
Others declared me very lucky to have such a gracious young woman as a beneficiary of my modest help.
Several actually shocked me by saying that beneficiaries of your help and generosity tend to become your
bitter enemies for what you fail to give them!
The contributions to the discussion came rapidly as people I had not heard from for a long time joined in
In form of emails having heard the story from my close friends and gave their opinion.
They all described me as a very lucky person to have such a rare and gracious young woman as a beneficiary of my help.
From their emails and Twitter Direct Messages, most have never received a word of appreciation from the people they have helped.
But as the middle aged express chagrin at what they consider lack of manners and decency, it is beginning
to look like decency is no longer a necessary character trait in developing countries, otherwise
social evolution wouldn’t have allowed it to die out.
Apparently, being modern means demanding everything as if it were a right.
Maybe treating privileges like rights is the surest way to get ahead in life these days.
If some elderly fellows expect you to thank them for extending a privilege to you, tell them they can thank themselves if they want!
You are too important to say “thank you.”
Unless of course, you are my wonderful former student.!
Just some random thoughts that came to my mind….©Profarms’ Random Thoughts®